Before Focusing, I wasn’t really listening—to others or myself. Here’s what changed.
by Laura Storey
Before I discovered this practice, I often felt untethered—like I was being tossed around by life, with no real anchor. My emotions ran the show. I swung between feeling overwhelmed and shutting down, reacting to everything but never truly feeling in control. I was caught up in the external world, disconnected from myself, uncertain of my direction, and unable to trust my own inner wisdom.
I had heard about listening within, but I didn’t know how to do it in a way that led to real change.
At the time, I thought listening meant understanding, agreeing, or having the right response. If I didn’t understand, I felt lost. If I didn’t agree, I shut down. If I did understand, I rushed to fix things. I lived in two extremes—either absorbing other people’s problems as my own or rejecting what they said because I didn’t agree. And when I wasn’t doing either, I was busy preparing my next words—trying to help, trying to fix, trying to make everything better.
But I wasn’t truly listening.
Focusing taught me something entirely different: listening isn’t about solving, agreeing, or even understanding. It’s about presence.
I learned to pause. To notice my own reactions without getting swept away by them. To stay with what was being said—not to fix, not to judge, but to simply be with it.
That changed everything.
Focusing reconnected me with my life energy and reshaped the way I listen—not just to others, but to myself. I learned how to be with my emotions rather than be consumed by them. I discovered a way of listening that awakens movement, clarity, and flow—a deep connection with life itself. Over time, my decisions became clearer, my creativity expanded, and my trust in life’s unfolding deepened.
Personally, this shift allowed me to build deeper, more meaningful relationships. People felt heard—not analysed, not dismissed, not “helped,” but truly heard. Professionally, it transformed how I teach, mentor, and guide others. It enabled me to hold space in a way that fosters insight, trust, and genuine transformation.
For over 12 years, I’ve had the honour of helping individuals in more than 25 countries connect with their own inner flow. I’ve led workshops with The International Focusing Institute (TIFI) and specialise in Inner Relationship Focusing—a process that nurtures self-acceptance, deep listening, and profound transformation.
Deep listening isn’t about trying to understand or fix others—it’s about being present with yourself while being present with another. And when you do that, something new becomes possible.
These days, I no longer feel like I’m drifting. I feel grounded—anchored to life, to spirit, and to my own inner sense of rightness. Even in uncertainty, there’s a quiet knowing beneath it. A steady trust that holds me. A deep current of life energy guiding me forward.
